The Twelve Tasks of Asterix and Obelix was written by The Crow Theatre Group (Aula de Teatro en Inglés de la UPV) and was performed on 28th and 29th June 2012 at the Teatre Municipal d'Alboraia L'Agrícola, directed by David Perry. We are greatly endepted to the Alboraia Town Hall (Excmo. Ayuntamiento de Alboraya) for their constant support towards our project.
This year's production has been sponsored by the Vicerrectorado de Alumnado y Cultura, (Universitat Politècnica de València). Our thanks go to them too.
Caesar's Palace, Rome
Through his spies, Caesar has learned that a small Gaul village is still resisting the Roman legionaries and he has ordered a map to be made showing the situation. He recalls the Commander of the Roman Army in Gaul (Efluvius) back to Rome to give a report. Efluvius lies and claims that the whole of Gaul has been subjugated. When Caesar shows him the map Efluvius claims that the Gauls from the village 'fight like gods' and 'have superhuman strength'. Caesar tells Efluvius he has failed and he is given a sword so that he may commit suicide and die an honourable death. When Efluvius hesitates, he is killed by Brutus and the guards. When Brutus suggests that only gods could resist the Roman Army, Caesar decides to prove that the Gauls are not gods but just 'a bunch of crazy Gauls'. He decides to go to Gaul himself and offer the villagers a pact. If they complete successfully XII tasks, they may remain free forever. However, if they fail I of the tasks they must subjugate themselves to Rome. Caesar then calls for the Priestess to read the signs. She tells him that the gods favour his journey and that he will be successful. She also adds that 'while Brutus is near, you have nothing to fear'.
The Gaul Village
Caesar arrives in Gaul and offers the villagers the pact. The Village Chief (Abraracurcix) tells him they will give their answer the following morning. Caesar leaves while they Gauls discuss what to do. The discussion develops into a fight just as Asterix and Obelix (who have been hunting wild pig) arrive. Obelix immediately joins in the fight.
The Gaul Village
The following morning the Villagers tell Caesar that they accept the pact. Caesar then introduces his envoy, Caius Pupus, who will tell the Gauls what they must do for each task and judge whether they complete them successfully or not. Caius Pupus begins to read the conditions of the Agreement (the small print). This is so boring the Villagers accept them without further ado. Asterix asks what the first task is.
The Gaul Village: Task I
The Villagers are given their first task: to learn the language of the Empire - Latin.
The Gaul Village: Task II
In the second task Obelix has to seduce a local beauty 'La Bella Roxsana'. His plan to sing to her is thwarted by the official from the SGAE ( Sociedad General de Autenticos Estafadores ) and in the end Asterix has to tell him what to say.
The Gaul Village: Task III (Part 1)
The tasks are becoming more and more difficult. In this task, the villagers have to build a bookshelf from ... Ikeaix. Given the extreme difficulty Caius Pupus gives them 3 chances.
The Gaul Village: Task IV
Task IV is to reduce the number of unemployed in the Village without leaving the Village; that is, without going to Germany. Asterix and Obelix take a clever young woman from the village (Jovix) to the Employment Office. The Official there offers Jovix a job delivering menhirs (like Obelix) but when she tries to lift a menhir the consequences are not as expected.
The Gaul Village: Task IV (Part 2)
The men of the village have their first attempt at building a bookshelf … but nobody knows what it is.
The Wise Woman of the Mountain: Task V
Asterix and Obelix have to climb the Mountain of Lament. The Wise Woman of the Mountain who lives at the top will ask them a riddle which, if they fail to answer correctly will mean instant death. No-one has ever returned from a visit to the Wise Woman of the Mountain!
The Gaul Village: Task IV (Part 3)
The men of the village have produced another attempt at building the bookshelf, but it still isn't right. The women of the Village decide that they will make the bookshelf.
The Island of Temptation (Task VI)
Asterix & Obelix sail to the Island of Temptation where their task is to resist all temptation to consume anything. On the way they engage the pirates in a sea battle.
The Gaul Village: Task IV (Part 4)
Finally Caius Pupus judges that the Gauls have made a satisfactory bookshelf … or have they?
Rome (Task VII)
This is a trial of strength between Obelix and the V(?) strongest centurions in the Roman Army. Would the result have been different if Obelix hadn't been so hungry!
Please note that Scenes XIV, XV and XVI (corresponding to Tasks 8, 9, and 10) have been cut due to lack of money. We apologise for any inconvenience. Scene XVII (Task 9) has also been cut as it involves 'convocando' people to a demonstration. This is now a criminal offence.
Rome (Task 12)
The people of Rome are protesting about rising taxes, unemployment, cuts in social welfare, cuts in education, etc. In the final task Asterix has to persuade the demonstrators to accept the situation. He is given a new toga to help him and is doing well until Obelix poinbts out that what he is saying isn't true. They decide that resistance is better than subjugation and fight the Romans.
The Gaul Village
And now our heroes enjoy a well-deserved banquet – all, that is, except for Asuranceturix.